As an officiant and celebrant, I meet with many couples to discuss the creation of personalized wedding ceremonies.  There is always such excitement about this, until we come to the vows.  It is then that I get terrified looks and comments like, "I wouldn't even know where to begin".  While ultimately I may write vows for couples, I encourage them to try it themselves as it will have greater meaning for them. 

Some couples need little guidance, but for the most part, the couples I work with are relieved when I tell them that I will send then what I call my "vow cheat sheet".  This is a very brief description of how to go about putting together vows, and then a select sampling of 8-12 vows that I cull out for them based upon my getting to know them.  From this selection, they will either find one they really like and "tweak"it to make it their own, or cut and paste from several of the ones that I carefully select for them.  There are times when couples send me a draft of there favorite sentiments, wording and phrases and then I smooth it out for them to ensure a nice flow of words. 

For those couples who want to start from scratch, I have put together a 4 step process that can be easily followed.  The important aspect to remember is that while vows are in fact serious, adding stress to the wedding planning process can be eliminated by simply beginning with what others have written. 

There are only so many ways, words and sentiments to discuss love and commitment.  If your officiant does not provide you with samples or you don't like what they have, get on line and do a search.  There are thousands of lovely vows already written that you can adapt, edit and cut and paste from.  Most importantly have fun!

Photography Courtesy of Cynthia R. Lang  860-953-2299

As a life celebrant, I help people honor and celebrate their relationships and life experiences.  On Friday, I was honored to officiate at John & Roberta's 17 year renewal of vows.  While I am always pleased to create a special ceremony, honoring peoples years together, in this case I believe I was truly graced; for John and Roberta's story reflects a deep commitment to each other and an example of what loving each other unconditionally really means. 

To say that their life has been difficult is an understatement, but through all of what they have endured, both together and alone, their love and acceptance of each other is a testament to the power and grace of love in action.  Congratulations to you Roberta and John, and thank-you for            
allowing me to celebrate with you!     

Over the past few weeks, I have been focused on catching up on all those things that were put aside for my vacation.  I have been very busy "doing" all that needed to be done in order to meet deadlines.  I have had little time to just sit and "be" (I know that is a lesson in and of itself).  I was becoming aware of an exhaustion creeping into my life and kept pushing it away; my mantra these past 4 days has been "I will take time tomorrow".  So while I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, "tomorrow" seems like weeks away!  It wasn't until I received a call today from a friend of mine that I was pulled out of my "doing" and into being present.  She had called to ask me to include a close relative of her's in my prayers, her relative had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was undergoing surgery tomorrow.  I got off the phone and sat for a few moments with this news.  Her call reminded me just how tentative our lives are, and how important it is to take time out to just "be".  How just 5 minutes of enjoying the connections we have and make with others, and/or enjoying the nature around us, renews and enlivens us.  So "tomorrow" is now today and I will take the next hour to simply appreciate all the blessings that are in my life!  Maybe you can join me....

As a wedding officiant and life celebrant, I discuss small details and logistics that can often disrupt a perfectly lovely ceremony.  My largest pet-peeve is cells phones and electronic devices that ring or vibrate (yes vibrations are heard!) during a ceremony.  I highly recommend to people that prior to the beginning of a service or ceremony, an announcement is made reminding people to turn off these devices. In my initial drafts of wedding ceremonies, baby blessings and memorial services, people can see how this is tastefully handled.  I do on occasion have people who are adamant about not wanting to make such an announcement, and so we do not. Inevitably, in these cases a device rings or vibrates at the most inopportune time, which was the case with wedding I officiated at this weekend, right before the vows, a cell phone rang, or should I say"played" a tune.   Previously we had discussed this announcement at length.  They assured me that no-one in their family would consider having a phone on. 

In the world we live in, cell phones and electronic devices have become second nature to us, like our arms or legs, we don't think about them.  It is never intentional that these are left on, but it is human nature, and while it disrupts the ceremony it also leaves the person who "forgot" embarrassed.  Ask your officiant or celebrant to make a tasteful announcement, and if you believe that your friends and family are different and don't need a reminder, you may wish to reconsider your logic.  Your insights are always welcome!

Over the past 10 days, I have been traveling in Denmark and Sweden in celebration of my husband's 60th year.  We have had a marvelous time visiting various places and just hanging out and observing the world go by.  We arrived in Copenhagen for the beginning of the 2nd annual World Outgames.  Being in a city where diversity is honored and celebrated was a perfect place to celebrate my husbands 60th!   We left Copenhagen and arrived in Stockholm, where the 1st day we came upon the "Stockholm Pride" Parade.  What we both noticed immediately about this parade was how many "public" agencies and officials participated; several units from the Armed Services, The Royal Guard, The Red Cross, The Police, Doctors and Nurses, The Royal Opera Company, and Amnesty International proudly took to the streets in support of the rights of the Gay, Lesbian & Transgender communities.  There are many things I love about being an American and living in the United States, and one day I hope we will see this support and inclusiveness throughout our Country!