This past week I have been lying low - limiting my contact with people, technology and work - a "mini-retreat". While not a traditional "retreat" that I have done in the past-filled with meditation, walking, and silence; this week I have been honoring what the stillness of each day has brought into my consciousness.  I have not attempted to "try" to be conscious each moment; for me that would be a useless and unattainable aspiration.   Rather I have allowed myself the privilege of not needing to accomplish or do anything!  In allowing this, grace has flowed into my life.  I have connected to a different capacity to listen to the quiet messages that my body, mind and spirit have spoken.   I have noticed resistance, longing, excitement, sadness, joy, tiredness, stagnation, desire and the tug of my ego to revert to my automatic responses as life unfolds.   I have had time to reflect on the past year, and time to think about next year.  I have acknowledged my successes and noted my disappointments, I have reflected on how I have served others, and have I have missed the mark in relationships and interactions.  All of which has led me to a list of resolutions I could commit to in the upcoming year. 

In the stillness of the morning, sitting and watching the fire, with my hot cup of coffee and my cats curled up beside me, I began to think about my list and chuckled a bit, which led to a big belly laugh.  You see, the list I had created, while "doable" in small parts, combined together would be a reflection of "the perfect person" in my minds eye.   It was a recipe for disaster of body, mind and spirit.  It offered no possibility for compassion, human frailty or error.  So I put it into the fire and watching it burn came up with one simple New Years resolution:

I will try to live each day being "the best version of myself"; forgiving myself and others, and asking others for forgiveness, when human imperfections and frailties lead to pain and suffering.  

I wish you all a warm, safe and loving New Year.

Today, as I was preparing to enter into my holiday retreat, my friend Steve reminded me of the gifts of friendship and blessing when he sent me a link to one that John O'Donohue wrote.  John O'Donohue was an Irish poet and philosopher who died last year at the young age of 53.  He inspired those who read him to honor the mystery and beauty in life.   In memory and tribute to his passion, insight and many contributions to our world,  I offer his "Beannacht" to all of us on this holiday season.    May you all enjoy this season, and for those who might be alone,  know that many of us carry you in our hearts and prayers.   Thank-you Steve for sending this to me today!

Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and yet a day replete with hope as we prepare for and welcome the increase of light into our hearts and souls.  Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and yet a day replete with hope as we prepare for and welcome the increase of light into our hearts and souls.  Winter Solstice has been celebrated across cultures for thousands of years.  It is the start of the solar year and a celebration that honors dark, light and rebirth.

While darkness and the winter may offer us our own challenges, it is also a time for rest, reflection and renewal; for blazing fires and hot cocoa; a time to journey inside and begin the process of letting go.  Letting go of  that which no longer serves us,  the grievances with others, and to set intentions for what we would like to bring into our lives.                           
                                                           
You have the possibility to bring attention to this moment and time, by asking yourself:

What are the gifts of this year?
What is it I wish to carry forward into next year?                                                             
How have I made a difference in the life of another?
How do I honor the gifts and differences that others have made and given to me?
Is there something I need to let go of? A grievance I need to release?
Is there something new I wish to create in the upcoming year?

You can make this more deliberate and inclusive by starting your own Winter Solstice tradition - invite family and/or friends to join you in answering the questions, honoring the gifts received and setting intentions for the new year.  Use candles, sparkling cider (and/or wine), and anything sweet to help you celebrate.

Out of darkness comes light.  Each day now becomes a bit longer and brighter.  It is a gradual awakening into spring, so enjoy the days of reflection, quiet and family.  May we all be blessed with wisdom, compassion and grace.            (photo courtesy of my dear friend Bettina)

As this is the last post for this series, I thought I would reserve it for a general discussion of what it takes to live an extraordinary life.  The word itself has several definitions, the first being “beyond what is ordinary or usual”.  But as I dug a bit deeper, I came to the perfect nugget of gold…another aha moment – Webster’s use of the word “nonrecurring”. 

The simple fact is-nothing is ever the same.  We are not robots or machines.  Every moment-every day offers us new possibilities, new sorrows or joys, and a palate of colors and richness we only need to choose from.  When we wake each day we have a choice to live automatically or intentionally/mindfully.  We can choose to experience each moment with the curiosity and excitement of a child, or what Buddhism refers to as “beginners mind”, or we can approach our day as if it were just another day. 

Approaching our lives and days as if it were just another day, or a “work” day, or a “weekend” day plants a psychological seed of “recurring” days. When we choose another way, when we ask; how can I be more present and aware? How might I see this day differently?  How can I approach what feels like a routine with a beginners mind?  Then we have the possibility, as I discussed in Story 4, of infusing the minutes, hours and days with passion, excitement, learning and curiosity.  In this way there are no “ordinary” moments because we live a non-recurring experience and a realized extraordinary life.

Ari and Rich were married in a lovely and intimate backyard ceremony.    The day was meticulously planned with specific music selections, food, flowers and the perfect setting for the ceremony itself.  Ari and Rich, who have a strong affinity for the Taoist philosophy, used stones to create a beautiful Yin-Yang symbol.  They stood in the middle of this symbol as they  exchanged vows.

The symbol represents different and distinct aspects of a whole...the dark and the light...the right and left...positive and negative energies, etc.  They are indeed two halves of the same circle or entity, and one does not exist without the other.  They are nestled together as a perfect compliment to their opposite half, and therefore it was a perfect reflection of Ari & Rich's relationship and story. 

The ceremony included one of my favorite readings , "Commitment Reading of the Pueblo Indian".  It begins, "Before we met you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide rivers of our mind...."

Ari and Rich met, and are now forever joined in body, mind and spirit.  My blessings are forever with you and I look forward to being a part of your ongoing celebrations and lives.

Grace is a woman whose life has taken many twists and turns.  I once told her that to hear her life story, one would believe she was really talking about several people or lifetimes.  From a very early age, Grace would face challenges and obstacles to living (what she refers to as) a "regular" or carefree life.  Specifically, she learned how to survive and compensate for learning disabilities,  in spite of being told she was not smart enough to go to college.  (She would go on to earn a BS degree with a 3.8 GPA and later on a graduate degree). 

Grace followed her dreams and was not afraid to move out of her comfort zone.   She pursued several careers, both in traditional and non-traditional roles, often being told:  "oh you won't be able to do x, y or z...".  Grace never listened, she just never believed that a "no" was the truth. 

As I have witnessed her life over many years, I have been consistently amazed that with each turn, she dares to say "yes".  She somehow always finds the courage to try new things on behalf of opening her heart to live more fully.  Whatever challenges she faces, ultimately she does so with the belief that there is always a gift to be received and/or given, even when there is pain and suffering. 

Grace has the extraordinary capacity to live life to the fullest, whatever it may bring.  She may experience a depression, or doubt in the darkest hours, but  she rallies and comes back ready to see a new possibility. 

The lotus flower is a favorite of hers because there is such magnificence in it's simplicity, and yet it's roots are buried in mud.  Grace claims that this is an analogy for her life;  it may get thick, muddy and murky, but there is a beautiful flower waiting to blossom as long as she believes in herself, understands that the mud in her life is a nurturing gift, and she continues to live from her heart.    Grace...I think this is the perfect name for her!

Rachel & Chris were married at Nashawtuc Country Club in Concord, MA.  When we began planning their ceremony, we discussed the importance of including their family and friends in an authentic way.  As Rachel and Chris spoke about the love and support they had received, both individually and as a couple, it became clear that this was an important element that added strength to their ongoing relationship and marriage. 

We discussed many ways to include their family and friends, and ultimately we chose to formally do so during the ceremony.   After the processional and a general welcoming,  incorporating the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hahn,  we acknowledged the importance of those gathered.  We then asked the community to continue to honor and support Rachel & Chris as they deepened into their relationship as husband and wife.  It was a lovely way to establish a community intimacy for the rest of the wedding ceremony.

The ceremony continued using carefully selected readings,  a personal reflection about Rachel & Chris, and individually crafted vows.  The ceremony created was intimate, meaningful and reflected and honored their unique relationship to each other, and their family and friends.  Congratulations Rachel & Chris, and may you enjoy many years of laughter, friendship, family & friends and an ever deepening love.   
(photo courtesy of Steve Kimball Photography)

My friend Tim had an exuberance for life that was infectious.  No matter what he was engaged in, he experienced and spoke about it as if it were an adventure or discovery of something new.  He relished each day and all the new opportunities to learn and grow.  From the moment my husband and I met him, he opened his heart and home to us.  As I got to know him, I learned so much about how to savor the simplest moments of life.   When we went for a walk, he would be still and listen for the birds, trying to identify each new tweet or song.  When he cooked, he added so much love and intention into every aspect of the food's preparation that the feeding became a "love feast".  When he listened to me, he was attentive and asked interesting questions that allowed me to see the world differently.  After spending a day or evening with Tim, my life felt more energized and wondrous.  

Tim was diagnosed in his thirties with end stage colon cancer and I was privileged to be part of a group of friends and family that companioned him through the last year and months of his life.  Tim rarely spoke of his dying, and spent his days living intentionally and savoring everything...from the morning dew on the grass...to the sound of a car pulling up on his gravel driveway; nothing escaped his senses.  One of the last days I spent with Tim, before he was unable to get into a wheel chair, was a trip to a local beach/park.  Even though he was in pain and could not maneuver well, he asked me to take him to this place he loved so much so that we could be still and listen.  We shared these moments of silence, savoring the laughter of children, the birds flying and swooning into the sand and the warmth of the sun on our faces, and we left feeling very much alive. 

My story with Tim is not mine alone.  As I listened to stories from his friends and family they would mirror my experience over and over again.  Tim had a gift for living a vibrant and rich life that he passed on to many of us who knew him.  There is not a season that goes by that I don't hear his voice reminding me of the gifts that each season has to offer.  There is not a moment when, if I am intentionally preparing food, he is not by my side.  In my attempts to live mindfully and savior each moment, he is still a role model for me; beckoning me to be still, listen and wait. 

Tim passed on surrounded by an immense amount of love.  The legacy of love, and the example he set in living an exuberant life filled with adventure and discovery is an extraordinary gift he leaves behind and for this I am grateful.  

Shawn & Brian were married at the Coachman's' Lodge in Bellingham, MA in a simple but eloquent wedding ceremony.  When we met, Shawn and Brian spoke about their lives both before and after they had met.  Separately and together they have weathered many storms and their ceremony was focused on the themes of friendship, laughter and a deep trust they have cultivated that no matter what occurred in their lives, they could rely upon each others support and love in both good and difficult times. 

The highlights of their ceremony included a personal reflection about their relationship and life together.  This naturally flowed into a carefully selected reading and then the exchange of vows, which Shawn & Brian crafted together to be meaningful as well as fun.  Their wedding ceremony was just what they wanted and uniquely them!

Today, Shawn and Brian are expecting their first child - a son! Congratulations to you both and I look forward to being part of your life as you begin your family.

Today is Thanksgiving, and for many of us, we have the fortune of being with friends or family, and for this we are truly blessed.  So today, for just a moment, stop and reflect upon an act of kindness, an unselfish moment that one of these people gave to you from their heart.  Share with them the impact this had on you and stop to notice how these heart connected moments turn the ordinary into the extraordinary! 

Today's entry has a different focus; for it speaks to the difficult journey many have and the extraordinary courage it can take to simply survive.  Those who find themselves alone on this Thanksgiving day, by virtue of distance, illness, homelessness or other life circumstances.   Life isn't always safe or warm for many.  So today, I ask you to take two actions:
1) Take a few minutes, either alone or with family, to hold a prayer or intention, that those that are suffering will find a moment-or moments, of grace, healing and peace. 
2) That we take the opportunity to serve; whether it be by dropping a donation at the food bank, volunteering at a hospital or shelter, offering a homeless person a blanket or a hot cup of coffee, or going on-line to your favorite charity and submitting a donation in honor of the courage it may take to continue to live in our world.   

May all beings have happiness and cause of happiness
May all beings be free of suffering and cause of suffering.
May all beings remain in equinimity.

Peace and Blessings to you all.