Relationship and marriage is a spiritual and on-going process.  Each day offers us the possibility to remain mindful of our original intentions, vows and what we hope to create with each other.  There are good times and difficult times.  Times when we feel connected and other times when we feel alone.  Over time, what we have committed and promised to our partner and/or spouse can gently fall into the background.  In the difficult times we tend to see what is wrong, in the good times we do not question.  Yet relationships and/or marriage, like a garden, need nourishment and attention if they are to remain vibrant and healthy. 

During a difficult time this past year, my husband and I decided that we were focusing too much on what was "wrong" and not enough on what was good and right between us.  We were saying words and engaging in actions that inadvertently caused pain and cultivated distance.  We had lost touch with the truth of our hearts and our desire to be good to each other.  While we loved each other, we were slipping into an unconscious state of mind and automatic responses, which while protective did not serve our relationship and marriage.  After much discussion, we decided to begin a daily practice that would help us remember the importance of our relationship. 

Now each morning when we get up, before my husband leaves for work, we speak a vow to each other.  It is simple and straight forward:

        "Today I will love you, honor you and our relationship and I will do my best not to hurt you."  

Simple yes...but the impact has been profound. For in speaking these simple words, we begin our day consciously nurturing our relationship and heart.  This post-wedding vow, allows us to fulfill upon the original vows and commitments we spoke on our wedding day.   When we get angry or fall back into an unconscious behavior, it does not last long, because the very next day we are speaking our vow again.   So in the New Year, see if this practice will make a difference in your relationship(s) and/or marriage and let me know what you find!