Located just 15 miles west of Boston with easy accessibility from several major highways, sits a gem of a venue for your wedding.  While many may have experienced the grace and elegance of the deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, it is not often thought of as a possible wedding venue. 

As a member of the museum and as a Life Celebrant and Wedding Officiant, I have often found myself strolling through the outdoor sculpture park, or sitting in the sun, imagining how a wedding, baby blessing, or even a memorial service would feel in such a magnificent place. 






(photo
courtesy
of
Bryce
Vickmark
Photography)






Recently I had the pleasure of being a guest of an event hosted by the Boston Wedding Group at the deCordova and met some of the extraordinary staff. It didn't take long for me to learn that the deCordova was indeed available to the public for such events...so if you are looking for a lovely setting, surrounded by beautiful sculpture, art exhibits and incredible architecture visit the deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum...contact the staff and ask them to help you create your dream day!

When Carolyn, Gary and I  met with me to discuss their ceremony, they wanted something intimate, fun, meaningful participation of their community, and if possible to walk away with a remembrance of the love and intentions that were shared on their very special day.  

Their wedding was to be held at the lovely Crane Estate on the beach and as we played with different concepts for their ceremony,  I inquired into the actual "set-up", specifically did they envision any sort of aisle or seating arrangements.   Their thinking was they didn't think it possible considering there were few chairs (most everyone would be standing) and the wind by the ocean would be a factor.  My response as their wedding officiant was simply; "well let's explore how we might build an aisle, get everyone involved, and have a meaningful remembrance".

What we co-created from this discussion was a wonderful ritual in which their community brought rocks with wishes written on them to the ceremony.  At the beginning of the gathering, with Carolyn & Gary looking on, their community was invited to honor their marriage by creating the very aisle that they would be walking down. 

Never, did we imagined how powerful and engaging this would be. The thought and love that would go into designing the rocks and the immense amount of fun that was had by even the small ones was wondrous. 

So if you are thinking something can't be done...ask how it might be achieved.  My tip for you today is to really think through what it is you wish to create and then have fun doing it! 
(photos courtesy of Louise Michaud Photographer c  2011)

Your wedding day is a mere 4 to 6 months away, and all the planning and details begin to pile on.  Anxiety builds and all of a sudden you realize the level of stress you feel as you try to ensure that everything comes together perfectly.  As a wedding officiant, this is often when I begin to hear from my couples how they wish they had eloped! 

So I am simply repeating here what I say to the people I work with and have offered in a previous blog...BREATHE!  All the wedding details and decisions from transportation, accommodations, flowers, cakes, seating charts, and the list goes on...can cause you to push into the background what this day is really about: A celebration and honoring of your love and willingness to enter into a commitment with your life partner.   

So here is the easiest and simplest of wedding planning tips: Get several sticky notes and on each one write the following:  This day is about celebrating and honoring our commitment to each other! Take a breath and smile!

Keep these on your desk, in your car, on your wedding notebook or file if you have one and even your bathroom mirror.  You can enjoy the planning of all the little details with a reduced level of stress if you simply remember that what people remember and speak about for the years to come is the specialness of the day...the ceremony, the fun they have and mostly the time they shared with you, their family and friends!  

As human beings we have a yearning to be seen and loved for who we are; in our vulnerability, in our magnificence and without any  pretense.  We look for that one person who allows us to live each day of our lives feeling full and complete.  Some of us are lucky and find our "soul-mate" or "best friend" at a young age...some of us go through several relationships and some are still searching. 

In my work as a Relationship Coach and Wedding Officiant, I have worked with couples who have entered into a lifetime commitment and then at some point down the road are questioning if they made the right choice.   Life is not always easy, and in the stressful and difficult times, we can often loose our way as we revert to old patterns and protective behaviors that may not support or nurture our relationships.  It is at these times like we need a clear path home to our hearts.  This is precisely why I encourage couples to create a partnership vision. 

Whether it is done through my workshop or in your own way, the power of this process, and the ability to evaluate, assess and resolve conflicting priorities and view points in a loving way, allows you and your partner to be in a compassionate, conscious and sacred relationship.  

Relationships require conscious intention, study and work...in fact they are an art.  Artisans study for many years as they hone their tools to create their masterpieces.  The visioning process offers an approach to cultivating a sacred relationship, while creating tools to work with as you move forward together in life.  We do this in a fun and interactive way, sharing our experiences, our learning's, our hopes and our dreams.  If you are interested in learning more, please call or e-mail or visit the workshop page and read what others have experienced.  The next workshop is Saturday, Feb. 26th. 
 

For the first time in the "The Knot's Best Pick Award" history, they have  added the Officiant and Celebrant category and it is with great joy and gratitude to all the couples I have worked with, that I am pleased to have received the Knot's  Best Pick of 2011 and The Editors Choice Award for the Boston Officiant and Celebrant category. 

This is an award that I share with all the couples who have valued the specialness of creating a relationship with me.  From this connection we have co-created meaningful, fun and unique wedding ceremonies that honor and celebrate the joy of marriage,  partnership and relationships with family and friends.  Thank you all for your trust, friendship and help in allowing me to do what I love!


Peace & blessings,
LisaAnn

Congratulations, you are getting married and planning one of the most important days of your life.  You have the date and the venue and you begin to look for someone to marry you and before you know it you are lost in trying to discern the differences of just who can marry you in Massachusetts!  So here it is in an easy to understand breakdown for you:

• Justice of the Peace: A JP is an appointed position through the Governors Counsel in Massachusetts for a period of 7 years and fees for services are regulated by the State.  Depending upon the JP you speak to and your wedding location they start with a regulated "flat fee" to this they can add additional fees for pre-marital interviews, planning sessions, rehearsals, travel and even customization of a ceremony, (i.e. there are JP's that actually may charge for the adding of a ritual).  By law they are required to put in writing all their fees that you will be assessed.  Usually (but not always) the ceremony is a standard civil ceremony which is then tailored to your specific information.  Some JP's are also members of the clergy.  If this is the case they may offer other services but be clear about the capacity in which they are solemnizing your wedding license.   If they are signing as a "JP" then their fees need to be reflective of this.
• Member's of the Clergy affiliated with a religious house of worship (temple, church, sanga mosque, etc.): Usually there is a recommended donation to the place of worship.  Ceremonies are designed to honor specific traditions, tenets and dogma.  They are more ritualized and adhere to a particular order of ceremony.  While there is definitely customization, the amount of this depends upon the individual clergy.
• Members of Clergy and Celebrants who are not affiliated with a specific house of worship:  Ministers, Non-denominational Ministers, Interfaith Ministers, Unitarian Universalist Ministers, Humanistic Ministers and Celebrants all fall into this category.  There are a wide array of services from a simple basic ceremony using a "template" to a fully customized ceremony in which each part of the ceremony is designed for you.  Each of us has our own style and willingness to spend time with you and allow you to be be part of the creative process.  Make sure you understand the process and willingness to work with you until the ceremony is what you want.   Fee's can generally range from $300 - $1200 and often reflect the time an officiant is willing to commit to the design process.  Read their testimonials and ask for references if no testimonials are available.  Again, make sure all agreements are in writing so you understand what the total cost will be.
• Anyone you designate:  A friend or family member who is of legal age can solemnize a wedding in Massachusetts as long as they apply for a 1 day designation.    If you decide to go this route...please read my blog entry, "Should a Friend or Family Member Officiate at your Wedding" from May 22, 2009

I hope this helps.  Now that you understand the differences you can intelligently put together questions that are important to you as you begin to search for your wedding officiant.  There are no wrong choices, the most important aspect is that you feel comfortable and connected with the person that will be marrying you.  If you haven't already done so feel free to read my article on selecting a wedding officiant.

 

As a full service Wedding Officiant I have had the opportunity to work with many DJ's, Photographer's, Musicians, Videographers and Coordinators.  I spend time up front touching base with all the vendors.  I send them an outline with cues for the musicians or dj's, an order of ceremony and speak to them prior to your ceremony in order to ensure that they are able to properly plan for their contribution to your wonderful day. 

I am becoming a stickler when it comes to working with photographers and videographers.  While I encourage them to do what's necessary to get the shots and recording they need, I do ask that they not become the center of attention and that they coordinate their efforts with each other.  Professional photographers and videographers usually confer with each other and are always grateful for the up front information I provide.  Unfortunately, there are some who pay less attention to this aspect of coordination (I have had an incident where a videographer actually tried to push me aside as I was signing a Ketubah, and a photographer who was standing where the Maid of Honor was suppose to be and I needed to actually ask her to move!) 

I was reminded of the importance of this when I received a wonderful video of a ceremony I officiated at.  As I watched it I saw the photographer moving about in the video and coming too close to the couple during a key and intimate part of the ceremony.   While the videographer did his best to use clear shots from the 2 stationary camera's he was working with, he was still unable to record in an unobstructed manner.  His video is of the highest and most professional quality and a lovely reflection of this particilar couples wedding day...but there is only so much any professional can do when a photographer is moving in too close. 

So please, if you are using a videographer and photographer take extra pains to make sure they work together and plan ahead for capturing the ceremony with unobstructed views and that neither of them are taking the focus away from you and the ceremony!

As you begin to plan your very special day, there are many details to consider.  Once your date and venue is selected many people begin the process of finding a wedding officiant or celebrant.  Where to begin?  There are many options in Massachusetts...you can select a JP, Minister, Celebrant or a friend.  The distinctions between these types of officiants in services, customization and fees can vary dramatically (more to come on this in another blog) so my suggestion is that come prepared with a list of key questions you wish to ask.  Feel free to download my article: findinganofficiant.doc  as a place to begin. 

After many years of working as as Wedding Officiant creating meaningful and unique wedding ceremonies, I have learned that the personal connection couples had with me, the ability to have input, to see several choices that were written specifically for them, to be able to read the final ceremony and have the right to say yes or ask for revisions, their confidence in my professionalism and my ability to manage any "unknowns" that might occur was ultimately what was important to them and allowed them to breathe easily and relax on their wedding day.

Your wedding is an important day, and your choice of an officiant is as important as the venue or photographer. Have fun selecting and officiant and start early if you are looking for a top officiant who will work to customize and create a meaningful ceremony for you.

Chris and Erin were married in the "Wintergarden" at Seaport’s World Trade Center in Boston.   As their Officiant, the three of us spent a great deal of time with each other, starting with an initial meeting and then an intimate day with each other as I facilitated the creation of their marriage vision.  

As we began to design the actual ceremony itself, we discussed the importance of it being a true reflection all aspects of their relationship including their vision and commitment to a lifetime partnership that was supportive, serious, adventurous, fun and laughter filled.  The final ceremony was intimate, sweet and meaningful.

On the day of the wedding I arrived at Erin's room to check in before the ceremony.  She said she needed to show me something that would make me laugh.  She pulled out these big pink sunglasses, and yes I laughed..because almost at the beginning of their vows was a line that was so reflective of  them ..."I vow to wear big sunglasses, and never take myself too seriously."

As we discussed when she was going to bring these out, I joked about doing so right before their vows and Erin loved it!  So at the appropriate time, right as I was introducing the vows I pulled these glasses out from under a table, spoke a few unrehearsed words and Chris and Erin burst out laughing, as did their loving community!  

While it might be a bit odd for some, this was ideal for them and after much laughter, the glasses were removed and Chris and Erin proceeded to exchange their vows and rings.  The ceremony concluded on a more eloquent note as the Unity Candle was lit and a final blessing offered.    Congratulations Chris and Erin!  I look forward to many years of laughter and friendship with you!   Picture courtesy of Studio Noir

As a life celebrant who officiates at weddings, baby blessings, memorials and many other life events throughout Boston and Massachusetts, I am often asked for recommendations regarding a gathering place.  Mostly, the people who I work with are looking for a location that is easy to find, has warmth and a bit of character, can handle small groups of 4 up to larger groups up to 150 people and has a staff that's attentive.  Look no further:
The Sherborn Inn, located on Rt. 27 in Sherborn, (near Natick Center), is all you can hope for and more!

I love this location so much I will be participating at their first annual Bridal Show on Sunday November 14 from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.  Come see for yourself and stop bye and say hello!