Laura and Brian were married at the Harvard Club in Boston and as their wedding officiant, I was blessed to co-create with them both a memorable and unique ceremony.  From the moment guests arrived they were welcomed by the beautiful Celtic Harp Stylings of Carol McIntyre, who also provided the ceremony music.  A feeling of intimacy was further created as we welcomed and recognized the importance of those gathered to witness and support Laura & Brian's marriage. 

Within their ceremony we shared special moments in their relationship that retold their coming together as friends, partners and lovers.  When they spoke their vows and exchanged rings, the room was filled with joy. 

I was honored to spend time getting to know them and to be an integral part of their special day.  I look forward to being a witness to their future together.  Congratulations Laura and Brian!
(photo courtesy of:Oggi Photography)

As a wedding officiant who customizes ceremonies, I often work with couples who create their own rituals or adapt rituals for their wedding ceremony (which is itself a ritual!).  Rituals such as the Unity Candle, Handfasting, Rose Ceremony, Breaking of the Glass, Water Ceremony, Ribbon Cutting and even the Ring Ceremony, all come from a rich religious, cultural or spiritual context.  However, sometimes because of this association, or any number of other reasons, they do not "feel just right" for people. 

Rituals are designed to honor the significance and meaning of our lives.  So while tradition is lovely, I find myself rewriting explanations, adapting parts of rituals to include others, or creating new ones which bring together different elements of several rituals.  There are no hard and fast "rules", but here are a few of the questions I ask the couples I work with: "Why do you want to do a ritual?" "What is it you wish to honor in your relationship?" "Do you want to include parents or the community?"  "Is God or spirit invited into the ritual?"  "Is there a cultural and/or religious affiliation you want to celebrate?" "Are there rituals you have seen that you like or don't like?" 

In this process, I have co-created chocolate rituals, rock ceremonies, utilized yogic traditions, creatively honored different religious and cultural traditions such as Irish Catholic and Jewish, Buddhist and Christian, Pagan and Taoist, Agnostic and Mystic, and a host of other combination's!  The important part of this is to have fun and play! Please share with us some of the rituals you have created so we can all learn from each other.  (picture: part of a Taoist-Jewish Ceremony where circling was incorporated from a mystical context)

Michelle and Jeff were married this past Saturday in a wonderful wedding ceremony at the Colonial Inn in Gardner, MA.  Michelle had envisioned her wedding day from very early on, and soon after she met Jeff 5 years ago, she knew her dream would become a reality, for Jeff was her Prince!  Jeff, also knew that he had met someone quite special, and since their first encounter, their lives together have been filled with magical moments. 

As their wedding officiant, I worked with them to create the fairytale wedding that Michelle had dreamed of for so long and was now part of Jeff's vision.  The music for both the processional and recessional was selected from the score of Cinderella.  This selection set the tone for a magical ceremony.  Laughter and tears were experienced by all as their storybook ceremony unfolded.  Their ceremony was rich with meaning as well as fun!  Congratulations Michelle & Jeff and may your life continue to offer you magic, joy and love.

Hilary and Jeremy were married at the Westin Hotel in Copley Square, Boston.  They came to the east coast for an extended weekend in September to meet and select vendors and find their officiant.  Their main concern was locating someone they connected with and would be comfortable co-creating their ceremony while they were on the West Coast.  I was so happy when we met because  there was a natural connection between us that was warm and familiar.  In our first and only face-to-face meeting, we discussed many elements that would effect their ceremony; their hopes, dreams, how they met, what marriage meant for them, possibilities of incorporating both Slovakian and Jewish wedding traditions, aspects of their relationship that they wished to honor and celebrate, and who would be actively involved in the ceremony.

Over the next few months, with the use of e-mail, and phones, we continued to get to know each other while creating a ceremony that was intimate, personal and unique to them.  While ultimately we decided against using a Slovakian Wreath Crowning Ceremony, it was fun to play with it as a possibility.  Hilary & Jeremy's wedding ceremony took place under a lovely Chuppah and we incorporated the reading and signing of an Interfaith Ketubah.  The readings that were selected focused on the nature of friendship & love and the mystical heart.    Their ceremony was marked with laughter and tears of joy.  Today, their friends and family are still speaking about how wonderful and meaningful it was.   

While it may be nice to meet in person, it is indeed possible to create a meaningful and personalized ceremony working bi-coastally!
(photo courtesy of Maureen Edwards Photography)

Melissa & Jamie were married this summer in an intimate and meaningful ceremony at the Lyman Estate in Waltham, MA.  What I remember most about their ceremony is the warmth and laughter that we all experienced as we honored and celebrated their love, relationship, and their family and friends.   Melissa and Jamie carefully thought through each detail of their ceremony.  We spoke about the tone for the day, the music and the significance of the processional itself.  When we began to explore potential rituals to include,  a sand ceremony was selected because it could be carefully crafted as a special way of honoring their parents and the family legacies that are part of their combined lives.

Melissa and Jamie returned from their honeymoon and quickly packed-up their home and moved to the west coast.  I know that their life will continue to be filled with laughter, great love and the blessings of a warm and loving family. 

As a special mention, When I looked through all the pictures of the ceremony, I was amazed at just how many wonderful moments del sol Photography captured!  Posed shots all looked natural, and the candid's were lovely. I highly recommend them!

 

Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and yet a day replete with hope as we prepare for and welcome the increase of light into our hearts and souls.  Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year, and yet a day replete with hope as we prepare for and welcome the increase of light into our hearts and souls.  Winter Solstice has been celebrated across cultures for thousands of years.  It is the start of the solar year and a celebration that honors dark, light and rebirth.

While darkness and the winter may offer us our own challenges, it is also a time for rest, reflection and renewal; for blazing fires and hot cocoa; a time to journey inside and begin the process of letting go.  Letting go of  that which no longer serves us,  the grievances with others, and to set intentions for what we would like to bring into our lives.                           
                                                           
You have the possibility to bring attention to this moment and time, by asking yourself:

What are the gifts of this year?
What is it I wish to carry forward into next year?                                                             
How have I made a difference in the life of another?
How do I honor the gifts and differences that others have made and given to me?
Is there something I need to let go of? A grievance I need to release?
Is there something new I wish to create in the upcoming year?

You can make this more deliberate and inclusive by starting your own Winter Solstice tradition - invite family and/or friends to join you in answering the questions, honoring the gifts received and setting intentions for the new year.  Use candles, sparkling cider (and/or wine), and anything sweet to help you celebrate.

Out of darkness comes light.  Each day now becomes a bit longer and brighter.  It is a gradual awakening into spring, so enjoy the days of reflection, quiet and family.  May we all be blessed with wisdom, compassion and grace.            (photo courtesy of my dear friend Bettina)

Ari and Rich were married in a lovely and intimate backyard ceremony.    The day was meticulously planned with specific music selections, food, flowers and the perfect setting for the ceremony itself.  Ari and Rich, who have a strong affinity for the Taoist philosophy, used stones to create a beautiful Yin-Yang symbol.  They stood in the middle of this symbol as they  exchanged vows.

The symbol represents different and distinct aspects of a whole...the dark and the light...the right and left...positive and negative energies, etc.  They are indeed two halves of the same circle or entity, and one does not exist without the other.  They are nestled together as a perfect compliment to their opposite half, and therefore it was a perfect reflection of Ari & Rich's relationship and story. 

The ceremony included one of my favorite readings , "Commitment Reading of the Pueblo Indian".  It begins, "Before we met you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide rivers of our mind...."

Ari and Rich met, and are now forever joined in body, mind and spirit.  My blessings are forever with you and I look forward to being a part of your ongoing celebrations and lives.

Rachel & Chris were married at Nashawtuc Country Club in Concord, MA.  When we began planning their ceremony, we discussed the importance of including their family and friends in an authentic way.  As Rachel and Chris spoke about the love and support they had received, both individually and as a couple, it became clear that this was an important element that added strength to their ongoing relationship and marriage. 

We discussed many ways to include their family and friends, and ultimately we chose to formally do so during the ceremony.   After the processional and a general welcoming,  incorporating the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hahn,  we acknowledged the importance of those gathered.  We then asked the community to continue to honor and support Rachel & Chris as they deepened into their relationship as husband and wife.  It was a lovely way to establish a community intimacy for the rest of the wedding ceremony.

The ceremony continued using carefully selected readings,  a personal reflection about Rachel & Chris, and individually crafted vows.  The ceremony created was intimate, meaningful and reflected and honored their unique relationship to each other, and their family and friends.  Congratulations Rachel & Chris, and may you enjoy many years of laughter, friendship, family & friends and an ever deepening love.   
(photo courtesy of Steve Kimball Photography)

Shawn & Brian were married at the Coachman's' Lodge in Bellingham, MA in a simple but eloquent wedding ceremony.  When we met, Shawn and Brian spoke about their lives both before and after they had met.  Separately and together they have weathered many storms and their ceremony was focused on the themes of friendship, laughter and a deep trust they have cultivated that no matter what occurred in their lives, they could rely upon each others support and love in both good and difficult times. 

The highlights of their ceremony included a personal reflection about their relationship and life together.  This naturally flowed into a carefully selected reading and then the exchange of vows, which Shawn & Brian crafted together to be meaningful as well as fun.  Their wedding ceremony was just what they wanted and uniquely them!

Today, Shawn and Brian are expecting their first child - a son! Congratulations to you both and I look forward to being part of your life as you begin your family.

I had the great privilege of marrying Becky and Susan in my garden alcove in the Spring of 2008.  They are a lovely couple, who, wanting to start a family began their planning quickly after their wedding day.  For same-sex couples having a child can be a long process, but for Becky and Susan, they were fortunate that pregnancy occurred quickly and in June of 2010 Ethan was born! 


We began planning for a blessing and welcoming ceremony three months before his birth.  Less, than one month after he arrived; his family, friends and I came together; pledging to honor, love and support him as he grows into his own unique being.   We incorporated a modern day baptism to bless and dedicate Ethan to serve in this life as God and Spirit intends for him.  The day couldn't have been more spectacular! 


Since this day, I have learned that Becky, Susan and Ethan are moving back to their native state to raise Ethan.   While I will miss knowing they are close by I have promised to visit when I can.   Congratulations Ethan, Becky and Susan-may your lives be continually blessed with love, health and great happiness!