I remember the first time I spoke with Sarah, she was sitting by her Mom's bedside, companioning her in her final days.  She reached out to me to discuss the possibility of creating a special memorial followed by a graveside burial that would truly celebrate and honor her mom's life.  Dorothy, was to pass the following week and in the days after her death, I met with Sarah and her husband Brad, and reached out to her other children and family to listen to their stories and to learn how Dorothy touched and changed each of their lives. 

Incorporating music, prayers, poetry, psalms and personal writings, Dorothy's memorial service and graveside burial honored the truth of her life and the relationships she had with her family and friends.  We acknowledged her great courage as she gracefully met the challenges of her life.  We spent time speaking about her dedication to her 9 children (yes I said 9!), and the strength of character she possessed as a single mom, who worked full time.  We honored the gifts she passed onto her children, family, friends and co-workers and her passion for crafts, gardening and travel to Hawaii.   As a Mom, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Sister, Aunt and friend, Dorothy has left a legacy of love, generosity of heart, courage, strength of character and indomitable spirit that lives on in those that remain. 

Her funeral was indeed a tribute and celebration of her life and it was truly an honor to create and officiate at this heartfelt ceremony.

Laura and Peter were married at the Nashoba Valley Winery in Bolton, Massachusetts.  While they live in Washington State, it did not prevent us from getting to know each other and co-creating a wedding ceremony that incorporated their passion for nature, working with their hands, having fun, and a heartfelt acknowledgment of their family & friends.

Princess patiently waits as the processional begins

While we laughed and tossed around several ideas to incorporate into the ceremony, it was important to Laura and Peter that Princess have an active role.  And active it was, for Princess was their ring bearer! 




Princess brings the rings to Laura and Peter as we prepare for their vows.  She remained with Peter and Laura right up to the Kiss and the recessional!






From the moment we began to work together, Laura, Peter & I had a connection that has deepened into a true friendship.  I am honored to be part of their lives and to have been the person that married them.

Jennifer and Ryan wanted to celebrate, bless, dedicate and honor their son Hunter who was turning 1 year old.  While they both have strong spiritual beliefs, they do not belong to any specific church and so began the search for a minister who could honor their individual perspectives and help to create a ceremony that would be joyous, warm and honor Hunter's unique role in the world and his relationship to Spirit.  From the moment that Jennifer spoke with me it was clear that there was a connection between us and so we began to co-create their very special celebration and blessing ceremony.

Hunter's grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all gathered to share a special day with them and also to accept their own role in Hunter's life.  The Baby Blessing Ceremony opened with a lovely Unity Candle Ritual (above) in which Jennifer & Ryan honored their own connection with spirit, their commitment to love, nurture and support Hunter and the divine light that is in us all.

The ceremony continued with the community, grandparents and godparents (left) joyously accepting their special roles in Hunter's life. 

A final ritual was incorporated in which water was used to dedicate Hunter's head, heart, hands and body to serve in his own unique way as God intends. 

Jennifer, Ryan and the community that gathered all agreed that this was indeed a special day filled with warmth, joy, and spirit.  Thank you Jennifer & Ryan for allowing me to be such an important part in welcoming your son.  I look forward to more wonderful celebrations with you!

Andrew and Emily (my niece) were married in an interfaith ceremony which combined Jewish and Taoist culture.  Held at Hakone Gardens in Saratoga, California, this lovely Japanese garden was the perfect spot.  They were married under a colorful and playful Chuppah (a tradition in Judaism) and began their ceremony by circling seven times. 
In the Jewish tradition, this circling has many interpretations, but for Andrew and Emily, the significance was tied to the mystical belief that each circle represented the removal of one of seven shells of solitude that encrust the soul.  Upon completion on the circling, the soul is open and ready to be surrounded by the light of their beloved and the creation of a seven fold bond. 

Throughout their ceremony their individual beliefs and shared vision was celebrated and honored with a lightness and joy that allowed for both laughter and tears. 

Their ceremony ended with both a lovely water ritual, honoring the Taoist philosophy of the changing nature of our lives and the unending energy of  life and the Jewish tradition of the breaking of the glass.  

Congratulations Emily and Andrew and may you have many years of happiness and health.  I love you both!

Marta and Greg were married this summer at the Barn at Gibbett Hill.  When we first met, I knew I wanted to work with them.  They clearly loved each other and were focused on making their ceremony special and memorable.  As we began working together, I appreciated the care they took with each detail of the ceremony.  The questions they asked and their active role in co-creating the ceremony with me; and special and memorable it was!  Through careful selections of readings, music, the inclusion of a special stuffed animal used by the ring bearer to bring the rings down the aisle, personalized vows written by Greg and Marta, and a reflection written specifically for them; we all smiled, laughed, cried and honored their relationship, their family and friends and their life together. I feel honored to have been a part of their most important day.

As a wedding officiant I perform ceremonies at a variety of venues.  While I know that I have high expectations for places that host weddings and other events, my experience is that the coordinators at these venues can range from excellent to marginal in their coordination efforts and customer interface. 

Last weekend, I was at a venue that did not allow the florist, or any of the other vendors to have access to the site until 1 hour before the ceremony.  As the venue itself did not offer anything but basic set-up, had this couple not hired a "Day of Wedding Coordinator" the guests would have arrived and the site would not have been ready.  This particular wedding coordinator had the planning knowledge and experience to pull the site together so that the ceremony and day could begin on time and the day would run smoothly. 

This past weekend, I arrived at a site 30 minutes before the ceremony.  No chairs were set-up, and the coordinator was no where to be found.  I took it upon myself to ask one of the waitresses about the ceremony chairs, she said that chairs were not on the set-up sheet.  I explained that it must have been an oversight and asked if she could ensure that the chairs were put out quickly, which gratefully she did as guests were mulling about. 

Your wedding day and celebration is important, and while chairs are hardly a small detail, a professional wedding coordinator, not affiliated with your site, will ensure that your day runs smoothly and that the small details are tended to. My experience has taught me, that if you have it in your budget for a "Day of Wedding Coordinator" it is money well spent.

You are planing your wedding, and want to incorporate chocolate in your ceremony because you met over chocolate;  but your wedding is outside in July, so you assume because of the heat that this won't work.  You love the outdoors, you and your partner hike, work in the soil, saw and stack wood together and you wonder if somehow you can bring this into your wedding ceremony with more than just words.  You are animal lovers and own a dog, you want him involved in the ceremony but do not believe this can happen.    As a wedding officiant and celebrant who creates customized ceremonies my response is-of course we can!   Wedding rituals are meaningful if they speak to your heart, reflect you story as a couple and honor that which you feel is important in your life.  They offer a rich way in which you can celebrate your passions, beliefs and values and also create new traditions for the future.  There are many lovely rituals that are steeped in tradition and used for wedding ceremonies, but you can also create your own.
Here are some quick tips: 

• Understand what the overall message you wish to relay through a ritual is - do you want to honor how you met? Are there important activities you do together that join your lives?  Do you have shared commitments that are important as you join together in marriage?  Do you wish to honor the community of people that are celebrating with you? Do you want the community to be actively involved in your ceremony?
• Whatever the overall message is, as you design your ritual keep it simple and clear. 
• Test out the ritual with others to see what works and what needs to be tweaked.
• Make sure there is an explanation of the ritual and the meaning it has for the two of you during the ceremony.

Two last hints: when you think you can't do something, or it won't work, turn these statements into questions and ask How might it work? What needs to happen for it to work and be included? 
Finally - Have fun!

As a life celebrant and minister, I officiate at many different types of celebrations and events.  I interface with many other professionals in ensuring that the details and day run smoothly.  At weddings, baby blessings and memorials, often a videographer is brought in to record the day.  While I have worked with several terrific videographers, this past weekend I had the unfortunate experience of working with one that created problems during a wedding ceremony. 
This particular person did not use a stationary camera, nor did they wire the groom for sound.  They were moving around quite a bit during the actual ceremony, both in front of the bride and groom and behind me.  During one of the rituals I had to actually ask him to move and I noticed on more than one occasion that the photographer was having a problem taking pictures because this person stepped into their camera's view. While ultimately I do not know the quality of the product produced, my experience with this videographer prompts me to offer the following helpful questions should you wish to incorporate videography at your wedding or celebration of any kind: 

Will they contact the other professionals involved ahead of time to discuss each others needs, including your celebrant or officiant?

Will they use at least 1 stationary camera, positioned in a manner that does not distract from the ceremony or interfere with other pictures?

If this is a wedding, do they have an approach for supplementing a stationary camera that will effectively capture what they need to without causing distraction?

Will they coordinate their efforts with the photographers so that both can do their jobs? 

Will they use wireless microphones, if necessary,  in a manner that will not cause audio interruption but will pick up the ceremony?

While it is helpful during weddings and celebratory events to hire a videographer who can blend in and be inconspicuous, this becomes even more important during a memorial service. While all of this may seem obvious to a professional, it is helpful to understand how the person you ar hiring will work with you.  Let me know if their are other questions you think should be asked.

As an officiant and celebrant, I meet with many couples to discuss the creation of personalized wedding ceremonies.  There is always such excitement about this, until we come to the vows.  It is then that I get terrified looks and comments like, "I wouldn't even know where to begin".  While ultimately I may write vows for couples, I encourage them to try it themselves as it will have greater meaning for them. 

Some couples need little guidance, but for the most part, the couples I work with are relieved when I tell them that I will send then what I call my "vow cheat sheet".  This is a very brief description of how to go about putting together vows, and then a select sampling of 8-12 vows that I cull out for them based upon my getting to know them.  From this selection, they will either find one they really like and "tweak"it to make it their own, or cut and paste from several of the ones that I carefully select for them.  There are times when couples send me a draft of there favorite sentiments, wording and phrases and then I smooth it out for them to ensure a nice flow of words. 

For those couples who want to start from scratch, I have put together a 4 step process that can be easily followed.  The important aspect to remember is that while vows are in fact serious, adding stress to the wedding planning process can be eliminated by simply beginning with what others have written. 

There are only so many ways, words and sentiments to discuss love and commitment.  If your officiant does not provide you with samples or you don't like what they have, get on line and do a search.  There are thousands of lovely vows already written that you can adapt, edit and cut and paste from.  Most importantly have fun!

Photography Courtesy of Cynthia R. Lang  860-953-2299

As a life celebrant, I help people honor and celebrate their relationships and life experiences.  On Friday, I was honored to officiate at John & Roberta's 17 year renewal of vows.  While I am always pleased to create a special ceremony, honoring peoples years together, in this case I believe I was truly graced; for John and Roberta's story reflects a deep commitment to each other and an example of what loving each other unconditionally really means. 

To say that their life has been difficult is an understatement, but through all of what they have endured, both together and alone, their love and acceptance of each other is a testament to the power and grace of love in action.  Congratulations to you Roberta and John, and thank-you for            
allowing me to celebrate with you!