One of the common questions I am asked by couples is: “What makes your process customized and different?”  There are many ways an officiant can answer this.  Some might speak about using your “love story” in the ceremony, or ask you to select your own readings and a specific ceremony “template” from several they already use.  For me, it begins with an informal "getting to know one another meeting".

Trying to decipher what it all means can feel like a daunting task and I often refer people to my article “Selecting a Wedding Officiant”, but here are 3 quick questions you might wish to explore with your fiancé/partner before beginning your search to help you discern what to look for.

Do you want the officiant to take quality time getting to know you, and do you feel comfortable sharing your personal stories?

If you are seeking a truly personalized and custom ceremony, then this should be a resounding “yes” and your initial meeting should feel warm, welcoming and leave you with a feeling that this is a person who a) will really listen b) provide an environment in which you can safely share c) provide you as much or little guidance as needed d) be fun to work with and willing to share who they are with you e) give you as much time as you need throughout the planning process and f) be open to feedback.

Do you have spiritual beliefs or religious affiliations that you wish to include, are they the same or different and do you wish to include this for yourselves and/or for your family.

If this is a consideration, you will want to make sure that your officiant has a solid background in creating ceremonies that combine and/or celebrate specific traditions with a flair for personalizing these.

What is the level of flexibility and leeway you want in designing your ceremony?

Ensuring that you understand the officiant’s process and how often they are willing to meet and write/rewrite your ceremony based upon your thoughts, feeling and feedback is important.  The process of co-creating your ceremony should be tailored to fit your personal needs because this is what leads to a very special and memorable ceremony.

Selecting your officiant is an important process, so my best advise...take your time, ask lots of questions, and get to know the person who is going to take on such an important part of your wedding day.

Back in 2008, when I was planning my wedding, I had a wedding binder (homemade), with binder tabs and typed labels. I had checklists. I had timetables. I had “questionnaires” that I typed up for use when I spoke to a vendor on the phone. I was, in short, an organized bride, with a capital “O.”

None of this, however, nor the time I spent reviewing the available options in Massachusetts, made me feel prepared for the search for a wedding officiant. Because let’s be honest: the person who performs your wedding ceremony is not the same as the person who puts together your bouquet, or applies your makeup, or rents you some tablecloths. Your wedding officiant is not a “vendor,” not a person whom you can “interview” and then “hire.”

My fiancé, Jamie, and I felt a lot of pressure to find just the right person, who would craft just the right ceremony, just for us. We wanted a completely personalized wedding ceremony, written and performed by a professional. How do you get that, though, unless you just happen to be best friends with someone who performs weddings for a living? We had no idea.

When we went to meet LisaAnn, we were nervous. It felt like a first date. Will she get us, we wondered. We will like her? Is she the one? Our own first date had lasted seven hours (a fact which we have always been proud of, and which LisaAnn managed to work into the Welcome of our wedding ceremony); we knew a good first date when we had one.  

I wish I could compare the conversations we had with LisaAnn to all the other wedding officiants we met with, but the truth is, after that first date with LisaAnn, we cancelled all the rest (just like we cancelled our own online dating profiles after that first epic date with each other).

She got us.

She started with a blank page, and over the months we spent working with her, she crafted just the right ceremony, just for us.

I couldn’t be more excited that LisaAnn has invited me to contribute to her blog, and to share with her readers some of my own experiences working with her to create my wedding ceremony. In my next blog, I’ll be sharing more about that special first date Jamie and I shared with LisaAnn, and how we knew she was “the one.” Please stay tuned!

As 2012 begins to unfold, I am aware of the blessings I receive each day as I work with people to co-create special and unique ceremonies that honor and celebrate life.   For me there is no other work more rewarding than the privilege of spending time with wonderful people; listening to their stories, hopes and dreams and then weaving these into rituals that reflect and honor their beliefs, values and lives.  While I work with all of life celebrations and transitions; weddings, baby blessings and marriage-partnership visioning are the largest part of my work. 

As the wedding season begins again, I find that I spend a good bit of time helping to educate couples about the many approaches they might wish to consider for their ceremony.   What is most important to the people I work with are that we all feel genuinely connected to one another, and that the process of co-creating their ceremony is creative, fun, and allows for exploration of many possibilities.   They are looking for a “sounding” board, a person who has enough experience to know what will and won't work, is flexible and is invested in really getting to know them. 

From my perspective this is a perfect fit!  I am passionate about working with people who want to create a special and personalized ceremony that celebrates their love and relationship with family and friends in a meaningful way.  Over the next twelve months, I will be blogging about my perspective on the work I do with couples, individuals and families.   Yet there are always two sides to an experience, and this year I have invited Melissa Duclos-Yourdon to be a guest blogger on my site.  

I met Melissa and Jamie when they contacted me to discuss their wedding, and I couldn’t have been more delighted upon our initial meeting to work with them.  Almost from the moment they walked into my living room I felt a connection, and as we shared tea and conversation, it was clear we were a good fit for one another…so please welcome Melissa as she shares her experience, thoughts and insights on the process of getting married and living in a conscious relationship with her husband, new baby, family and friends.  Look for her post on 2/1 and as always, please feel free to comment and add your own thoughts. 

 

One of my favorite premier wedding consultants in Boston, Paula Marrero, founder of Marrero Weddings and Events (MWE), has taken her love and passion for helping clients bring their wedding vision to life and created a gem of a resource for all couples planning the most important day of their lives together. 

"The Studio", at MWE,  located in Danvers Center at 5 Elm Street, is a beautiful showroom filled with gorgeous ideas designed to inspire and excite, and offers couples the ability to touch, feel, smell and see, first hand, décor and designs that will bring your wedding vision to life.  Clients receive two hours of consultation with Paula Marrero where you will be able to take advantage of her nearly 12 years of industry experience and ask questions, receive direction and guidance. 
The Studio also offers you the opportunity to participate in monthly workshops and to explore top professional vendors who will partner with you to help make your vision a reality. 

So if you want to be inspired, excited AND lessen the stress of your wedding planning, the best thing to do is to call for an appointment and experience this magical place for yourself.  Don't forget to report back to us!

The extra special touches for your wedding can help to establish consistency in the tone you wish to set for your very special day.  There is something simply elegant about receiving an invitation that feels lovingly addressed.  Until I became a celebrant, I never really understood all that went into the small details of  invitations, place cards etc...but my friend Megan of © Megan Chapin Calligraphy has opened my eyes!  Today she is featured on the exclusive site of Beantown Bride.  If you are looking for that special touch be sure to check her out! 

Sara & Dan were married this year at the wonderful Tower Hill Botanical Garden in Boylston, Mass.  As their officiant I was honored and had great fun getting to know them.   Together we crafted a ceremony  that was joyful, fun, meaningful and uniquely about them. 

 

The location was perfect for them..sharing a love of nature they felt inspired when they came upon Tower Hill's Secret Garden for their ceremony.   This is a spot that feels so very intimate yet opens to the sky and is simply magical.   

The day was clear and their family and friends actively participated in laughter, celebration and joyful tears throughout their special ceremony.   Looking at these pictures you can tell that they clearly enjoyed their ceremony and how much they love one another. 

Congratulations Sara & Dan...I have loved spending time getting to know you and being part of a very special time in your lives.

 

 

 

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of marrying Christina and Mark.   What I loved about this particular celebration was that there was absolutely no stress.  Why?  Everyone thought they were coming to an engagement party!   Family and friends arrived to not only celebrate their engagement but also to "launch"them on an eighteen month exploration around the world.  

Most of the family and friends thought they were going to get married while traveling but it was important to both of them that their friends and family witness this moment.  

We began working on their ceremony about three weeks before their actual wedding day, spending time getting to know each other and then co-creating a ceremony that was unique, filled with laughter, love and lot's of cheer. 


Held at a clubhouse in the afternoon there was minimal fuss and planning needed.  The results...a simple, eloquent celebration that reflected who Christina and Mark are as individuals and as a couple. 

Cocktails and h'orderves were available before and after the ceremony.   The party lasted for many hours and people are still delighting in the surprise and fun of the day.  Congratulations Mark & Christina and enjoy your travels!

Tanya and Dan were married at the Colonial Hotel in Gardner, MA.  The three of us worked together for many months, first creating a marriage vision and then a very special ceremony which honored their families, had much laughter, joyful tears and captured the essence of who they each are individually and together.  

Tanya and Dan came into their planning process with an overall vision of how their day might unfold.  It was important for them to find people who would take extra time getting to know them, becoming more than just a "vendor".  They wanted an interactive approach where they could be an active part of the creative process.  Taking much care selecting their wedding professionals, they put together what they lovingly referred to as their "A Team".  All their upfront planning and connecting with the right people paid off!

The reception was spectacular with terrific food, flower arrangements and a beautiful ice sculpture.   Music & reception hosting were provided by DJ Steve Vinzi and the moments captured by Steve Kimball Photography.  These are two professionals whom I have had the pleasure of working with frequently and they make any wedding a very special and memorable event! 

Congratulations Tanya and Dan I look forward to being part of your lives for a long time! 
(photo courtesy of Steve Kimball Photogaphy)

As a wedding officiant in the Boston area, I have the privilege of working at many wonderful venues.  While most of the time my couples have already selected their venue...I am always delighted to come upon new venues I have not been aware of.  The Museum of Science is one of these.  

I had the pleasure and yes, an adventure, of exploring the museum as an events venue and I was blown away....not only by the number of options and lovely views, but also by the level of professionalism, attention to detail and pure passion that the event staff have for their work.  Cheryl (CP), an Account Manager with the Museum, spent time discussing and showing me the several options that people had for their weddings.   From a large gala outdoors, or an intimate event in a cozy and lovely space overlooking the Charles, to a fun and electrifying ceremony in the Theatre of Electricity...there is a perfect combination for your desires, needs and creativity!
I would never have imagined that the Museum of Science offered such a lovely possibility...it is a hidden gem in this regard...so whether you are looking for a wedding venue, a rehearsal event or another social venue, it is a place to explore!

I so love the work I do as a Wedding Officiant and Celebrant.   I am always learning and co-creating with my couples personalized and meaningful elements for their ceremonies.  A few years back I was fortunate to work with a couple who loved French history.  They wanted to include an old tradition which they referred to as a "French Ribbon Cutting" ceremony.  This ritual was new for me and with little information available about it we spent a great deal of time speaking about what they wished to accomplish...the feel, involvement of their community, and the significance of incorporating this in their wedding ceremony.    It was indeed a hit!

For me, it drove home the importance of really delving into the "why's" and "hows" for any ritual that is to be included into a wedding ceremony...including the rings!

Depending upon where, how and when you incorporate a ritual into your ceremony, also will help you to discern how to describe it within the context of the total ceremony. In general, with this particular ritual, the ribbons represent "obstacles" that exist in one's life.  The cutting away is symbolic of the capacity to either meet life's challenges together as a couple and/or cut away any obstacles that existed prior to coming together in a life partnership.

Over the past several years I have incorporated this ritual for other couples.  Greg & Aurelio (above) loved the thought of their community holding these ribbons as they began their life together as a married couple. They alternated who cut each ribbon and used this ritual during their recessional.   

While many people may see the same "ritual" in wedding ceremonies...what makes them special is the significance they have for you as individuals and as a couple.   If you love a specific ritual, I encourage you to "make-it-your own" in the words used to describe it's significance, in how members of the community or the entire community might be involved, and where in the ceremony flow it is incorporated.  Most importantly....have fun!